


haikyuu!! (on discord)

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Chatting & Messaging, Gratuitous use of dad jokes, M/M, Mostly Fluff, and his personal motto is: if you're gonna hit it, chatfic, hit it till it breaks???, just a little fourth wall breaking. for flavor, more characters will probably be added later?, oikawa tooru's favorite food is milk bread!!, please accept this questionable attempt at a chatfic, slightly uncreative nicknames
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:07:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25599289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Karasuno Volleyball Server#generaltsukishimakei: oya oya oya?yams: TSUKKI????(A chatfic)
Relationships: i mention daisuga and iwaoi in this but it's really minor tbh
Kudos: 26





	1. immediate regret

**Author's Note:**

> Thought "heyy what if i wrote a chatfic" and it resulted in this.  
> This is my first attempt at writing these characters, i Apologize in advance if they are out of character  
> I also do not go on Discord that often so there may be inaccuracies there as well. Idk why I chose this format honestly

**Karasuno Volleyball Server**

**#general 5:02 PM**

daichi: To be honest, I'm already starting to regret this.

**_suga just joined. Can I get a heal?_ **

suga: aww don't be like that

suga: it's just a volleyball club chat, how bad can it be really?

daichi: You haven't heard what I have about the other ones.

daichi: Especially those of Nekoma and Seijoh.

suga: ???

suga: don't know what you're talking about but why make it then?

daichi: Bokuto said it'd be good for "club bonding"

daichi: I also thought it'd be advantageous for communication 

suga: oookay?

suga: did you invite everyone else already

daichi: Yes, they'll probably show up soon 

**_tanakaryu is here, as the prophecy foretold._ **

tanakaryu: HEY GUYS! YOUR SENPAI HAS ARRIVED

suga: hi tanaka! and it's just daichi and i rn haha :)

tanakaryu: OH

tanakryu: NVM IG

daichi: Hey Tanaka

daichi: What's with the caps?

tanakaryu: IT WAS A DARE FROM YUU

tanakaryu: I HAVE TO HAVE CAPS LOCK ON FOR THE NEXT WEEK

**_rollingthundah just slid into the server._ **

suga: right as he's mentioned

rollingthundah: RYUUU

tanakaryu: BROSKI

rollingthundah: BROO

rollingthundah: anyways why are yalls usernames so boring

tanakaryu: I THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE AN OFFICIAL SCHOOL THING IDK??

daichi: It is not

daichi: Although I do need to discuss something with everyone

rollingthundah: uh oh

daichi: What do you mean uh oh???

daichi: And no one's in trouble but it is important nonetheless

suga: yea don't worry guys we would've already done something if you got in trouble :)

tanakaryu: WHY ARE YOUR SMILEYS ALWAYS VAGUELY THREATENING

suga: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**_It's dangerous to go alone, take kageyamatobio!_ **

suga: hello my son

kageyamatobio: sugawara-san??

daichi: Since when did we adopt him??

suga: when he joined the club

suga: also i am legally required to include at least one team dad-esque text every chapter to fulfill the quota

daichi: The quota?

suga: the haikyuu chatfic quota

rollingthundah: lol

kageyamatobio: ???

kageyamatobio: anyways what is this for because i need to go back to tossing practice

daichi: Suga what are you talking about

daichi: Oh are you still in the gym?

kageyamatobio: yes with hinata

rollingthundah: hmmm

kageyamatobio: whqt

suga: don't worry about it both of u

tanakaryu: IS ANYONE GONNA COMMENT ON THE FACT THAT DAICHI SAID "WE"???

suga: no

daichi: No.

rollingthundah: yes

daichi: No, Nishinoya.

rollingthundah: ...No

tanakaryu: FINE 

kageyamatobio: uh??

daichi: Feel free to go back to practicing, I'll just @ you when everyone's here

daichi: but don't stay too long though you two, you still need to rest up for tomorrow and do your schoolwork

rollingthundah: what a great dad

kageyamatobio: ok

**_yams just joined the server - glhf!_ **

**_Welcome, tsukishimakei. Stay a while and listen._ **

tanakaryu: SALTYSHIMA!

tsukishimakei: immediate regret

tsukishimakei: and ha you rlly expect the ✧･ﾟ:*k i n g*:･ﾟ✧ to do his schoolwork?

kageyamatobio: >:( ofc i do it

suga: hey now, kageyama does his schoolwork!

suga: ...or tries to

suga: ...when there's an exam coming up that'd prevent him from playing volleyball if he failed

kageyamatobio: sugawara-san you're not helping

daichi: Welcome

tanakaryu: HELLO MY KOUHAIS!!!

rollingthundah: HEYA!!!

tsukishimakei: and now texting again when he's supposed to be practicing his tossing? tch

kageyamatobio: I

yams: hello!!

yams: tsukki what

suga: tsukishima left the server right after that??

tanakaryu: OMG HE JUST SLANDERED KAGEYAMA AND LEFT

yams: oh

yams: I'll talk to him

**_shoyothecrow just arrived. Seems OP - please nerf._ **

shoyothecrow: hi everyone what's this??

shoyothecrow: also HA see kageyama i'm OP 

shoyothecrow: you should set to me more c:

kageyamatobio: i already set to you so much wtf

shoyothecrow: Discord itself has given me The Validation

rollingthundah: SHOYO!!

shoyothecrow: NOYA!!

daichi: Hello, this is just a volleyball club discord server

suga: hi hinata!

shoyothecrow: hihi!

suga: we just waiting on the rest of the 2nd years, managers and asahi now?

suga: and tsukishima i guess

daichi: Yeah

daichi: I'll text them again since this is fairly important

shoyothecrow: huh??

suga: alright

**_Hello. Is it notjesus you're looking for?_ **

notjesus: hi?

rollingthundah: ASAHI-SAN

daichi: Oh, you're finally here

notjesus: noya??

rollingthundah: yea?

notjesus: ah nothing

rollingthundah: ???wat

suga: hey asahi! what took you so long

notjesus: was doing my homework

suga: how responsible

suga: good for you

rollingthundah: just what you'd expect from asahi-san!!

notjesus: akdafjljdgls what

**_Ennoshita just joined. Everyone, look busy!_ **

**_nahrita joined your party._ **

**_hisashi joined. You must construct additional pylons._ **

Ennoshita: hello everyone

suga: dang, all at once

rollingthundah: synchronized attack

Daichi: Hello

tanakaryu: HELLO!

tanakaryu: UHH ARE THE OTHER TWO THERE??

**_Welcome yachi. Leave your weapons by the door._ **

yachi: ??? why would i have weapons?

shoyothecrow: yachi-san!!

yachi: hi hinata

suga: hello! 

**_Ermagherd. kiyoko is here._ **

rollingthundah: KIYOKOOOO

tanakaryu: THE GODDESS HERSELF HAS ARRIVED EVERYONE ELSE QUIET DOWN

yachi: shimizu-senpai!

kiyoko: hitoka-chan!

kiyoko: oh, looks like i was the last one

suga: you were indeed

suga: daichi?

Daichi: Ah right

Daichi: @everyone

kageyamatobio: ok what is it?

Daichi: Um, I'm not sure if you all have seen this already

Daichi: But there's a whole fanfic archive online dedicated to us????

notjesus: there's a

notjesus: wHAT

yachi: ?!?!?!

suga: you didn't know???

rollingthundah: owo?

tanakaryu: NO WAY

Daichi: I did not?

Daichi: I mean I don't actively look for fanfic on myself y'know??

suga: lol how'd you find it then

Daichi: Yui sent me a rather... interesting one today

kiyoko: oh?

kageyamatobio: i mean we are still in high school so it's kind of weird but isn't that normal for volleyball pros?

kageyamatobio: or most famous ppl rlly

Daichi: It is????

shoyothecrow: aha im sure bakageyama is very experienced with these subjects :))

rollingthundah: huh?

tanakaryu: OH?

kageyamatobio: NO U BOKE

kageyamatobio: also shuddup remember i know about...

kageyamatobio: Well

shoyothecrow: DONT U DARE SAY IT

kageyamatobio: fine

suga: i would ask about what hinata has done, but im more interested in what this "interesting one" was about daichi-san

Daichi: Uh

Daichi: I'd rather not say

Daichi: but anyways, it was a frighteningly large collection and I feel that we should discuss this

**_Welcome, tsukishimakei. We were expecting you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_ **

tsukishimakei: oya oya oya?

yams: TSUKKI????

rollingthundah: (ofc he shows up again as soon as tsukki is back)

yams: no

suga: i- what???

Daichi: Tsukishima, are you alright??

suga: are you ok my child

tsukishimakei: YOURE NOT MY DAD

suga: ok that sounds a bit more like him

suga: also excuse me? :)

yams: o rite kuroo and bokuto are visiting tsukki!

yams: it's probably them

suga: for what?

yams: "bro time" apparently

suga: "bro" time?? aren't they all the way in tokyo tho

suga: they went all the way here for this??

suga: how'd they even get here that fast??? hello??

tsukishimakei: yeah this is kuroo on tskkis phone lmao, we have our ways

tsukishimakei: and excuse ME how dare you question our meetings? they are sacred

daichi: Hello Kuroo

tsukishimakei: i see you took bokutos advice ^^

daichi: ...yes

daichi: Also can we get back to the main topic?

suga: what can i say they are quite questionable

suga: maybe later, daichi

daichi: When's later?

suga: anyways, give my son his phone back

tsukishimakei: hmmmm.... id rather not 

suga: exCUSE ME?? 

tsukishimakei: no <3

suga: HOW DARE YOU CHALLENGE ME IN MY OWN REALM

tsukishimakei: wdym ur realm isn't this daichi's server

suga: ok it's ON 1V1 ME IN MARIO KART RIGHT NOW

shoyothecrow: suga-san???

daichi: Guys?

tanakaryu: IS SUGA OK???

suga: TANAKA RYUUNOSUKE GO TO YOUR ROOM

tanakaryu: HWAT

rollingthundah: o DANG he used ur full name... this is serious business 

suga: I'D LECTURE U BOTH BUT IM TOO BUSY TRYING TO DEFEAT THIS MAN

daichi: Guys??

yachi: it's so weird seeing "tsukishima" say these things even if i know it's someone else,,,

kiyoko: indeed

yachi: also where did yamaguchi go??

shoyothecrow: aww they're playing mario kart w/out me?? id join but im still in the gym

yams: im here, youre still there hinata???

daichi: Hi here, but also guys???

shoyothecrow: yea bakageyama still wants to practice our quick :v

yams: can u not captain-san

daichi: I can't.

kageyamatobio: boke let's continue

shoyothecrow: right!!

daichi: brUH IS NO ONE ELSE CONCERNED ABOUT THIS??

notjesus: I AM???

daichi: Hi ???

notjesus: ???? WHAT

rollingthundah: geez dadchi it's not that big of a deal 

rollingthundah: what kinda fanfic did you read anyway òwó

daichi: I would Rather not say

kageyamatobio: i think it's fine? 

shoyothecrow: idk what fanfic is

rollingthundah: lmao ofc

tanakaryu: OFC YOU DONT MY PRECIOUS KOUHAI

kageyamatobio: ...right ofc you don't

shoyothecrow: sHUT BAKAYAMA I STILL HAVE /IT/ IN MY NOTES READY TO COPY PASTE INTO THE DMS OF THE INVOLVED PARTIES

kageyamatobio: YOU WHAT??? IT HOUGHT YOU GOT RID OF IT 

yams: oh dang such sophisticated vocabulary

shoyothecrow: YAMAGUCHIII I THOUGHT U WERE BETTER THAN THIS

daichi: No, but the "fanfic" I read was oddly specific and included some kind of... frightening accurate details?

tanakaryu: LEMME GUESS

tanakaryu: WAS IT A ROMANCE FIC BETWEEN YOU AND SUGA FROM DAICHIS POV??

daichi: WTF HOW DID YOU KNOW

kageyamatobio: WTF HOW DID YOU KNOW

daichi: KAGEYAMA WHAT????

shoyothecrow: AHHAHAHA

kageyamatobio: NOTHING THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT

kageyamatobio: SHUTUP BOKE DO YOU WANT ME TO EXPOSE YOU TOO

shoyothecrow: NONONNO

shoyothecrow: GUYS IGNORE KAGEYAMA

tanakaryu: LMAOOO

rollingthundah: WHT

Ennoshita: what is going on?

kiyoko: I'm not sure.

yachi: wait how is kageyama related to this??

kageyamatobio: IM NOT

daichi: Hi not sure and NOT, I'm Daichi

kiyoko: Why do you do this, Daichi?

kageyamatobio: NO

daichi: i must

shoyothecrow: um anyways he isn't yachi-san

yachi: ...ok

Ennoshita: are y'all even practicing anymore??

kageyamatobio: no

shoyothecrow: not really

rollingthundah: anyways there sure is a lot of "daisuga" fanfic huh??

daichi: ....I MEAN, NO OFC IT WASNT A ROMANCE FIC BETWEEN SUGA AND I

daichi: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKIGN ABOUT

tanakaryu: LATE RESPONSE BUT OK

suga: idk what's going on with y'all but I have Won

suga: also daichi you only misspell stuff in texts when you're nervous hmmm :)

rollingthundah: TOP 10 ANIME BETRAYALS

daichi: SUGA... I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON MY SIDE

suga: i'm on my own side

daichi: Hi on my own side

tsukishimakei: :(( the Duel was close don't feel too proud

tsukishimakei: can't believe refreshing-kun beat me (╥_╥) 

suga: "refreshing-kun" what are you oikawa???

tsukishimakei: NO 

suga: Anyways give my SON his phone back

tsukishimakei: Fine

tsukishimakei: but be prepared for a second duel in the future

suga: so excited to lose again huh??

tsukishimakei: i will make one last change to cement my legacy upon this chat

rollingthundah: wow suga-san is surprisingly competitive over this

tanakaryu: IDK IF HE'S OK AT THIS POINT??

catbro: wtf this is what kuroo was doing??

catbro: wtf is my name?? your legacy sucks kuroo

suga: SON I HAVE WON YOU YOUR PHONE BACK

catbro: thanks i guess

catbro: i thought i left this server already

yams: tsukki!!

catbro: yams!

catbro: hold on let me change my nickname back

tanakaryu: AH THERE YOU ARE KOUHAI!

rollingthundah: SO SOFT...

kiyoko: Tsukishima using an exclamation mark? It's more likely than you think

tsukishimakei: shut.

suga: care to share some insight on your "bro" time with kuroboku?

tsukishimakei: no i would not care to.

suga: really??

rollingthundah: suga are u srsly referring to them like a ship name

suga: yeah <3

daichi: Anyways guys can we get back to the main topic at hand??

tanakaryu: WHAT DO YOU EXPECT TO EVEN DO ABOUT THIS DAICHI?

daichi: ...

daichi: I don't know.

daichi: Ok fine.

suga: welp I'm glad that's over with then

daichi: Hi glad that's over with then

suga: i will not dignify that with a response.

daichi: Fair enough

suga: SOO, tsukki!

tsukishimakei: nope

suga: tsukishima.

suga: ???

suga: son??

yams: suga-san... tsukki left again

suga: i...

suga: man

tanakaryu: LMAOO

**#general 12:34 AM**

hisashi: wtf happened here

nahrita: oh yea i joined but didn't actually pay attention after lol

hisashi: same

hisashi: anyone else here?

Ennoshita: y'all missed a lot

nahrita: seems so

Ennoshita: also why are you guys even up rn??

hisashi: forgot to do my hw, why are you?

Ennoshita: notif woke me up, and why are you up doing homework if it's the weekend

hisashi: this is the time in which i am most productive. please

Ennoshita: yall remember we have extra morning practice tomorrow right even tho it's a saturday? for the spring qualifiers

hisashi: ..o rite

hisashi: weLP guess i'll die

**#general 2:42 AM**

**_We've been expecting you, tsukishimakei_ **

tsukishimakei: tf

yams: tsukki!

Ennoshita: stOP THIS GO TO SLEEP

tsukishimakei: hi

tsukishimakei: no <3

tsukishimakei: why do you even have notifs on

Ennoshita: reasons that i am not obligated to share with you.

tsukishimakei: ...alright then

tsukishimakei: good night.

Ennoshita: GOOD NIGHT


	2. not very epic gamer of you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> owlboi: daichi-san.
> 
> daichi: Yes?
> 
> owlboi: I,
> 
> owlboi: with my infinite wisdom from years of experience,
> 
> oikawa tooru's favorite food is milk bread: your what
> 
> owlboi: diagnose you with boomer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sup y'all im back with this kinda unfunny fic!!! enjoy (??)

**Karasuno Volleyball Server**

**#general 10:36 AM**

daichi: Hey, I forgot to ask this earlier at vball practice

daichi: @tsukishimakei @yams Why were you awake at 3 AM???

suga: yea that IS rather weird considering that it was a school night children

tsukishimakei: stop calling me that

suga: no <3

yams: tsukki and i were ev training our pokemon

daichi: What??

tsukishimakei: What Is **EV Training**? **EV** stands for Effort Value. It has nothing to do with **training** a bunch of Eevee, but it instead describes the process of **training** up your **Pokémon's** stats to optimize them for competitive battling.

suga: what

daichi: Uh

yams: did you really just copy paste that from the first google search result you found

rollingthundah: ah fellow epic gamers

tsukishimakei: i would rather yamaguchi and i not be associated with you in that way, but yes

rollingthundah: why ya always gotta be so rude ://

tanakaryu: NOYA YOURE NOT AN EPIC GAMER YOU ONLY USE ELECTRIC TYPE POKEMON??

rollingthundah: wHA HEY

rollingthundah: excuse YOU it's a legitimate competitive format and it's called MONOTYPE

tsukishimakei: Lmao what's that

tanakaryu: WHO TF EVEN PLAYS THAT FORMAT

rollingthundah: TSUKISHIMA I CANT BELIEVE YOU DON'T KNOW THIS

rollingthundah: AND _I_ DO

tsukishimakei: I actually know it, I just wanted to mess with you, seems like it worked :)

rollingthundah: BRUH WHY MUST YOU DO THIS

daichi: Okay I searched up Pokemon

daichi: Why not do that at a more reasonable time?

rollingthundah: excuse me?? there is never a bad time for pokemon

tsukishimakei: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

suga: wait daichi how do you not know what pokemon is....

daichi: Idk it just never came up???

suga: how??

Ennoshita: daichi wtf 

daichi: idk

tsukishimakei: boomer.

daichi: I'm literally only like 3 years older than you what

suga: he's got a point, daichi-san

tsukishimakei: how do you not know pokemon? i am genuinely confused

kageyamatobio: yeah even i know what it is

shoyothecrow: bakageyama that's only because i told you what it is this year you have no room to talk

kageyamatobio: yeah you couldn't stop complaining about how kozume-san kept beating you on pokemonshowdown every time you challenged him with ur weak af team

shoyothecrow: KAGEYAMA

rollingthundah: omg shoyo you play too??? i should give you some tips sometime as ur senpai B)

shoyothecrow: omg that'd be great noya!!

tsukishimakei: what tips, like how to choose a balanced team type-wise???

rollingthundah: BRUH

rollingthundah: TSUKKI WHYP HAVE YOU DONE THIS

tsukishimakei: *why

tanakaryu: AHAHAH TSUKISHIMA NICE KILL

rollingthundah: AND ILL HAVE YOU KNOW AS A MONOTYPE PLAYER I AM EXTREMELYEXPERIENCED AT MAKING A BALANCED TEAM WITHIN THESE LIMITS

tsukishimakei: If you're using electric you'd literally only have to counter ground for "balance"?

rollingthundah: BUT ALSO GRASS, ELECTRIC AND DRAGON

tsukishimakei: ok. four types. wow.

kageyamatobio: What are you two even talking about

yachi: tsukishima-kun's wow sure had a lot of impact...

yams: that's tsukki for you!

tsukishimakei: thank you :)

rollingthundah: shut the up you probably only use fossil pokemon regardless of competitive viability because you like the dinosaurs!!

tsukishimakei: .

yams: uh oh

tsukishimakei: FRCIK YOU IM JUST

tsukishimakei: I USE POKEMON I LIKE

rollingthundah: LMAO SURE OK

yams: (he does do that)

tsukishimakei: shut

yams: sorry tsukki c:

rollingthundah: ANYWAYS

rollingthundah: shoyo i'd be happy to game with u sometime!

shoyothecrow: thanks senpai!!

rollingthundah: ofc!!

**volleyball captain squad 11:02 AM**

**#general**

daichi: Is it really that weird to not know what Pokemon is?

owlboi: oya?

the catfather: what's this?

oikawa tooru's favorite food is milk bread: yoohoo?

daichi: Why are you doing this to me what do you mean 

the catfather: (yes it kind of is)

owlboi: maybe i shouldve been sending YOU pics of rowlets instead of akaashi, since you are clearly in need of some knowledge here

daichi: Rowlet?

the catfather: (an owl pokemon)

owlboi: [rowlet.jpg]

daichi: ah

ushijima: I must admit, I do not know what that is either.

oikawa tooru's favorite food is milk bread: AHAHA ushiwaka doesn't even know what pokemon is

ushijima: Ah, Oikawa. I regretfully forgot to say this today, as I typically do.

oikawa tooru's favorite food is milk bread: oh no

ushijima: You should have gone to Shiratorizawa.

oikawa tooru's favorite food is milk bread: .

oikawa tooru's favorite food is milk bread: goodbye

the catfather: oh boy! YSHGTS(you should've gone to shiratorizawa) counter at 53 now

owlboi: do we really need the abbreviation spelled out at this point

oikawa tooru's favorite food is milk bread: we have had this server for literally only a month I do Not Understand how this happens so often

daichi: I think he's just doing it to annoy him at this point

the catfather: ...you think?

ushijima: I will not confirm or deny the accuracy of that statement.

oikawa tooru's favorite food is milk bread: *nor

the catfather: deserved <3

oikawa tooru's favorite food is milk bread: WHY??

owlboi: anyways what brought this on captain??

daichi: ...

daichi: We are literally all captains that is the point of this chat?? Who are you referring to?

the catfather: you? idk you give the most captainy vibe here

oikawa tooru's favorite food is milk bread: no i do 

the catfather: no you do not

oikawa tooru's favorite food is milk bread: why

the catfather: oikawa.

the catfather: do you genuinely believe that?

oikawa tooru's favorite food is milk bread: .

oikawa tooru's favorite food is milk bread: no

the catfather: see?

ushijima: I feel that he gives more of a fatherly vibe than a "captain" one

daichi: oh no not you too

the catfather: por que no los dos?

the catfather: anyways, daichi, what brought this on?

daichi: We were talking about it in the Karasuno volleyball discord.

the catfather: Oh?

owlboi: ooOO can i join?? pls???

daichi: You're not in Karasuno.

owlboi: well yeAH but

daichi: No

owlboi: :((

daichi: Anyways, I asked Tsukishima why he was staying up until 3 AM and Yamaguchi said he was "EV Training his Pokemon".

the catfather: ah, a fellow gamer

owlboi: that's our bro!!

oikawa tooru's favorite food is milk bread: idk what you all are talking about anymore

the catfather: it's literally only been two minutes since you last talked(and presumably read), trashykawa-san

oikawa tooru's favorite food is milk bread: exCUSE ME ONLY IWACHAN IS ALLOWED TO CALL ME THAT

ushijima: "ONLY IWACHAN", huh?

oikawa tooru's favorite food is milk bread: SHUT

ushijima: Maybe you would already be a couple if you had perhaps...

oikawa tooru's favorite food is milk bread: don't do it.

oikawa tooru's favorite food is milk bread: DON'T DO IT USHIWAKA IM LITERALLY BEGGING YOU

ushijima: Gone to Shiratorizawa

the catfather: YSHGTS(you should have gone to shiratorizawa) counter at 54

oikawa tooru's favorite food is milk bread: THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE?? I ALREADY GO TO THE SAME SCHOOL AS IWACHAN WTF

oikawa tooru's favorite food is milk bread: WHY IS YOUR ONLY PERSONALITY TRAIT TORMENTING ME THIS WRITING _SUCKS_

ushijima: What do you mean?

the catfather: can you not break the fourth wall so casually? we have a reputation to uphold, milk bread-chan

oikawa tooru's favorite food is milk bread: WHAT REPUTATION??

the catfather: oh you know

oikawa tooru's favorite food is milk bread: H

oikawa tooru's favorite food is milk bread: booo

daichi: ...Ok I'll continue now that that's over with?

daichi: So I admitted to having to search up the series on Google for context, to which I was met with much criticism

daichi: That's about it

owlboi: lmaooo

owlboi: daichi-san.

daichi: Yes?

owlboi: I,

owlboi: with my infinite wisdom from years of experience,

oikawa tooru's favorite food is milk bread: your what

owlboi: diagnose you with boomer

daichi: WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING THAT

owlboi: tsukki said it too didn't he??

daichi: I refuse to confirm that.

the catfather: (he probably did)

owlboi: anyways let me in >:)

daichi: No? It's literally just a club discord?

the catfather: me too

daichi: No

owlboi: come onnnn daichi-san i gave you the idea right??? your team is like 120% closer now that there's a group chat 

daichi: They... really aren't. We're already quite close.

daichi: We don't need a group chat to bond as a team, unlike some other schools I know.

ushijima: I am inclined to agree with Sawamura. I do not see the point of this.

owlboi: DANG YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO--

the catfather: daichi-san why have you done this...

oikawa tooru's favorite food is milk bread: I came out to have a good time but I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now

daichi: Hi honestly feeling so attacked right now, I'm Daichi

oikawa tooru's favorite food is milk bread: .

oikawa tooru's favorite food is milk bread: why

owlboi: hey hey hey but maybe they'll get even closer later! thanks to my wise wisdom

the catfather: "wise wisdom" bro...

owlboi: what, bro

owlboi: n e ways

owlboi: invite me or i'll find a way in myself òwó

daichi: You will not.

daichi: What is that emoticon supposed to mean anyway?

owlboi: sure i won't òwó

the catfather: òwó

daichi: Stop. Answer the question

owlboi: òwó??

the catfather: òwó???

daichi: Please

daichi: Also why do you even want in?

owlboi: boredom

the catfather: me too, the nekoma server hasn't been through nearly enough chaos lately

daichi: Not enough???? didn't lev literally get viciously attacked by yakus dog yesterday you were screaming about it in chat

the catfather: Not Enough.

the catfather: anyways let us in òwó

owlboi: yea!!

daichi: No.

owlboi: Hm.

owlboi: fine

**Private Messages between shoyothecrow and owlboi**

owlboi: SHOYOO MY PRECIOUS APPRENTICE

shoyothecrow: bokuto-san!!!

shoyothecrow: what's up

owlboi: nothing really you??

shoyothecrow: just the usual training to get to nationals c:

owlboi: nice!! same here 

shoyothecrow: how's it going there??

owlboi: well i think you'll be impressed if/when you meet us there :))

shoyothecrow: cool!!!

owlboi: heyheyhey anyways would you mind sending me an invite to the karasuno discord?

shoyothecrow: sure!

shoyothecrow: [You have been invited to: Karasuno Volleyball Server (14 Members - 4 Online)]

owlboi: thank you!

**in that gymnasium that one time at training camp gang B) (private gc)**

**members: owlboi, owlkaashi, the catfather, tsukishimakei, LEV, shoyothecrow**

**11:34 AM**

owlboi: i have EXCELLENT news

the catfather: oh?

owlkaashi: Bokuto-san, I don't know what you're talking about, but no.

tsukishimakei: uh oh

owlboi: bokuto-san YES

owlboi: [You have been invited to: Karasuno Volleyball Server (14 Members - 4 Online)]

the catfather: YOOOO

the catfather: HOWD YA GET IT

tsukishimakei: disappointed but not surprised

owlboi: shoyo gave it to me >:) it was really easy honestly

the catfather: AHAHA DAICHI UNDERESTIMATED YOU

tsukishimakei: bruh...

tsukishimakei: hinata you idiot

owlboi: Excuse me i will not be allowing any hinata slander in this house

owlboi: He's just a sweet, innocent and trusting boi

tsukishimakei: still an idiot

owlboi; HEY NOW

the catfather: also isn't he literally in this chat why not just ask him here

owlboi: yeah but he never checks it idk why

owlkaashi: bokuto-san, kuroo-san please don't do it we already cause enough trouble with other teams as it is

owlkaashi: ...they already joined it huh

tsukishimakei: yeah

owlkaashi: sighs

**Karasuno Volleyball Server**

**#general 11:35 AM**

**_It's a bird! It's a plane! Never mind, it's just owlboi._ **

owlboi: *hacker voice* i'm in

shoyothecrow: bokuto-san!

owlboi: HEY HEY HEY

tsukishimakei: yikes.

suga: who tf

kiyoko: isn't this supposed to be the karasuno gc?

owlboi: not anymore!!!

owlboi: oiii tsukki you don't have to be so cold :((

yams: :/

tsukishimakei: don't call me that.

rollingthundah: o?? bokuto from fukurodani, right??

owlboi: the one and only B)

rollingthundah: idk why you're here but sup!!

tanakaryu: GREETINGS

daichi: WHAT

daichi: HOW

owlboi: ;)

daichi: WHY

**_Challenger approaching - the catfather has appeared!_ **

the catfather: i have returned

suga: NO

daichi: KUROO-SAN??

shoyothecrow: daichi-san are you ok???

daichi: THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A KARASUNO SERVER?? 

the catfather: @suga i challenge you to a second mario kart duel. rainbow road only, 5 rounds, first to 3 wins

suga: WHAT ARE THE STAKES??

the catfather: if i win you must surrender tsukishima and your honor as team dad

the catfather: if i lose i will stop challenging you

owlboi: OHOHO??

tsukishimakei: heY I NEVER AGREED TO THIS

suga: VERY WELL I ACCEPT

the catfather: be there in 5 minutes or I'll count it as a forfeit.

tsukishimakei: HEY IM NOT GETTING STOLEN FOR THIS STUPID DUEL

yams: it's ok tsukki if they try to take you you can just hide at my house!!

tsukishimakei: yamaguchi... i love and appreciate you, but that would not work considering you just told them where my potential hiding spot would be

yams: OH NO

rollingthundah: lmao that was surprisingly soft tsukishima

yachi: TSUKISHIMA-KUN DON'T GET TAKEN BY NEKOMA!!1

daichi: KUROO YOU CAN'T STEAL TSUKISHIMA WTF

suga: IT'S OK BABE I GOT THIS

**Karasuno Volleyball Server**

**#general 11:47 AM**

suga: NVM I DON'T GOT THIS

the catfather: lmaooo

the catfather: [thecrushingdefeatofsugawara.mp4]

suga: KUROO HOW DID YOU BECOME SO GOOD IN THE SPAN OF ONE DAY

the catfather: oh, you know

suga: HACKS???

the catfather: no ofc not :)

the catfather: anyways it's 2-0 with me and suga respectively rn. tsukki you better watch ur back 

tsukishimakei: WHY TF ARE YOU WAGERING ME SUGA

suga: I THOUGHT I COULD WIN EASILY LIKE LAST TIME OK IM SORRY

daichi: Hi SORRY i'm daichi

suga: DAICHI NOW IS NOT THE TIME

daichi: AAKLDJLJGS

daichi: I MEAN

daichi: KUROO YOU'RE NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE

owlboi: this is peak entertainment

daichi: YOU TOO BOKUTO

owlboi: you'RE NOT MY DAD

daichi: I BASICALLY AM

the catfather: SUGA LETS CONTINUE

suga: FINE

**_Never gonna give applepi up. Never gonna let applepi down._ **

the catfather: KENMA???

tanakaryu: OHOHO?

applepi: Kuroo.

applepi: I can't believe you used me to cheat on an official gamer duel

owlboi: :o 

rollingthundah: òwó????

tanakaryu: THOSE ARE SOME PRETTY SERIOUS ACCUSATIONS THERE

suga: I KNEW IT

daichi: (no you didn't)

suga: SHUT

the catfather: idk what you're talking about 

applepi: [bruh.jpeg] (A picture of Kuroo and Kenma sitting on a couch, Mario Kart open on the TV and the controller clearly in Kenma's hands while Kuroo is texting)

the catfather: I JUST LET YOU HOLD THE CONTROLLER THAT ONE TIME FOR SOME REASON

applepi: that makes absolutely no sense and you know it.

tanakaryu: RIP KUROO LMAOOO

suga: AHA

suga: I AM THE SUPERIOR MARIO KART PLAYER AFTER ALL

the catfather: FRICK

the catfather: HOWD YOU EVEN GET IN HERE

applepi: bokuto told akaashi, who told me about it and was kind enough to send me an invite after i realized 

applepi: anyways stop bothering these poor ppl and let's be on our way

the catfather: fine (︶︹︺)

shoyothecrow: oh kenma!!! hi

applepi: hi shoyo

applepi: someone kick kuroo out

daichi: Oh right, you can do that

daichi: Done

applepi: ok cool cya

suga: i have proven victorious once again!

tsukishimakei: ://

suga: oh come on

suga: everything worked out right??

yams: it worked out this time :) but suga if tsukki actually got taken...

yams: just saying i wouldve thrown hands (;｀O´)o

suga: akjrlasjdgljdkls ok im sorry children

daichi: Hi sorry children, I'm Daichi

suga: ...why

daichi: i apologize but i had to

**in that gymnasium that one time at training camp gang B) (private gc)**

**members: owlboi, owlkaashi, the catfather, tsukishimakei, LEV, shoyothecrow**

**12:01 PM**

owlboi: they forgot to kick me out lol

owlboi: also BRO I CANT BELIEVE YOU WOULD CHEAT ON AN OFFICIAL GAMER DUEL

LEV: KUROO-SAN DID WHAT????

the catfather: ,

owlboi: AND NOT TELL ME ABOUT IT TOO???

tsukishimakei: im gonna tell daichi to kick you out.

owlboi: do nOT

tsukishimakei: fine

LEV: THAT'S NOT VERY EPIC GAMER OF YOU KUROO-SAN

the catfather: BRO,,,

the catfather: IM SORRY IT HAD TO BE DONE

owlboi: DID IT THO???

owlboi: WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR BROSHIP BRO

the catfather: IT'S STILL THERE BRO

the catfather: I DIDNT THINK ID BE EXPOSED AKAASHI WHY

owlboi: OK FINE BRO. FOR NOW

owlkaashi: Well

owlkaashi: "im sorry it had to be done"

the catfather: H

tsukishimakei: lmaooo nice one

owlkaashi: thank you

owlboi: anyways do you want me to get vengeance for your honor bro??

the catfather: nah i have other plans ;)

owlkaashi: uh oh

tsukishimakei: yikes

the catfather: :/ your faith in me is astounding

tsukishimakei: what faith?

the catfather: ...bro pls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> will there be another chapter? who knows??? not me!!

**Author's Note:**

> hey thanks for reading this all the way through! somehow. i appreciate it :)  
> there will most likely at least be a chapter 2 since I already have worked on that, unless I for some reason decide not to post it! it will hopefully be better and more exciting than this. after that i have no idea


End file.
